Why can it be so dang hard to have a positive internal dialogue? You would never walk up to another member at the gym and tell them “I see how bad your pull ups are and you should probably quit” But why is it okay that we do it to ourselves?
I have struggled with negative self talk for the majority of my life. It all came to a head when I was in the middle of a hard workout with chest to bar pulls ups. I kept telling myself “if I wasn’t so fat maybe I could do them. I should just quit right now because obviously I suck at them.” I happened to look over and see my two sweet children at that moment. What if I said these thoughts out loud and they heard me? Even worse, would I ever say things like that to them? No way. At that moment I knew my mentality had to change. Why would I talk so nasty to myself when I would never dream of letting them think about themselves in that way. We need to encourage ourselves just like we would to the people around us.
My First Step to achieving a positive internal dialogue is acknowledging when I am being negative. Really connect to your mind and hear your own thoughts so you can take that first step to changing your thoughts.
My Second Step
is to make a planned response in those moments. To ask questions like the ones listed below that I found from the article Challenging Negative Self-Talk,
by Ben Martin, Psy.D.
1. Reality testing
•What is my evidence for and against my thinking?
•Are my thoughts factual, or are they just my interpretations?
•Am I jumping to negative conclusions?
•How can I find out if my thoughts are actually true?
2. Look for alternative explanations
•Are there any other ways that I could look at this situation?
•If I were being positive, how would I perceive this situation?
3. Putting it in perspective
•Is this situation as bad as I am making out to be?
•What is the worst thing that could happen? How likely is it?
•What is the best thing that could happen?
•Will this matter in five years time?
4. Using goal-directed thinking
•Is thinking this way helping me to feel good or to achieve my goals?
•Is there something I can learn from this situation, to help me do it better next time?
My Third Step is to make time for myself. I love to listen to a personal growth podcast, wether it be in the car, in bed at night, or my personal favorite, while doing household chores with headphones on.
Conclusion – Words of Wisdom
Take a minute to see yourself- midworkout, exhausted, chipping away at the work- from a coach’s perspective. We KNOW you are CAPABLE. We can see that you are STRONG! You keep coming back day after day so we know that you are DEDICATED. And you NEVER, EVER give up. We see your strengths and gently but persistently stoke that inner spark of strength into a blazing fireball. Now put yourself in your coach’s shoes and REALLY see yourself. Do you see yourself as the person who you just told that they are powerless and suck at snatches? Or do you instead see your potential and even though it’s hard, you see yourself keep moving and powering through. Do you realize that when you first walked through the front doors at CFII, you might have never touched a barbell but now you are doing SETS of 65 lb power snatches when before you could barely do one single bare bar snatch?
See your power. Know you are capable. See yourself through my eyes. You only have one body and one mind. Imagine how UNSTOPPABLE you would be if you deeply believed in yourself through everything you did. If you loved yourself so deeply? If you saw and believed in yourself the way that we do, your ENTIRE LIFE would change.
Ps. Please watch his video
when able. I ended up crying because it touched my so deeply and really did help me with developing stronger positive self take.